Michael Moore speaks

Dear Governor Bush:

So today is what you call “the moment of truth,” the day that “France
and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table.” I’m glad
to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya,
having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn’t sure if I
could take much more. So I’m glad to hear that today is Truth Day,
’cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

Monday, March 17th, 2003

George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC

Dear Governor Bush:

So today is what you call “the moment of truth,” the day that “France
and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table.” I’m glad
to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya,
having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn’t sure if I
could take much more. So I’m glad to hear that today is Truth Day,
’cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News
aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of
the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five
people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON’T FIND
THEM! Why? ‘Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No
Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average
Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to
our lives, then, believe it or not, we don’t want to kill him! Funny how
that works!

2. The majority of Americans — the ones who never elected you — are
not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real
issues are that affect our daily lives — and none of them begin with I
or end in Q. Here’s what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost
since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no
one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now
costs two dollars a gallon — the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will
not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to
improve.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a
popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you,
Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But
even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does
it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this
war? Of course, this is a war you personally won’t have to fight. Just
like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your
place.

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South
Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you
really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters
over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits.
And let’s see every member of Congress with a child of military age also
sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What’s that you say? You don’t
THINK so? Well, hey, guess what — we don’t think so either!

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups.
Yes, some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we
wouldn’t even have this country known as America if it weren’t for the
French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for
us? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman
who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the
movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do — tell
you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the
French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you
really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your
ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted
you into a corner you can’t get out of.

Well, cheer up — there IS good news. If you do go through with this
war, more than likely it will be over soon because I’m guessing there
aren’t a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam
Hussein. After you “win” the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the
popularity polls as everyone loves a winner — and who doesn’t like to
see a good ass-whoopin’ every now and then (especially when it ‘s some
third world ass!). And just like with Afghanistan, we’ll forget about
what happens to a country after we bomb it ’cause that is just too
complex! So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next
year’s election. Of course, that’s still a long ways away, so we’ll all
get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even
further down the toilet!

But, hey, who knows — maybe you’ll find Osama a few days before the
election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis —
they got our oil!!

Yours,

Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com